somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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