i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Randomize
