I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Jerry, you need to find god
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
