I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
literally had 100 drinks last night.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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