Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
