bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
