drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
