yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize