Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
Betty ford says i'm here all night
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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