yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
COCAINE IS GR8
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize