Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
