Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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