...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize