I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
