My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i wish my penis had a tongue
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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