He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
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