i permit you to call me
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
