We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
