I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I know her cup size but not her name....
Randomize
