so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Police were just in my backyard to recover a loaded .38. What the fuck?????
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i may or may not be watching the land before time
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
