put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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