Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
It's shark week go big or go home
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
