He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
