He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
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