My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
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