I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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