Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
