I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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