is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Randomize
