whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
