Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
