careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize