singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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