shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
