Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
