We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
We need to rekindle our bromance
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
