trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize