? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
