Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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