please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Please don't give away my fajitas
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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