so that wasnt chicken after all
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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