So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
