If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
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