hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
she smelled like a LAN party
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Randomize
