You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
