Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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