Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
