why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
