did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
