Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
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