Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i think i just lost a toe
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize