I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
