Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
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