I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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