At least make sure they are 18
Why
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
