She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
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