Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
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