Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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