We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
