My nipple is on Facebook.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize