I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I am naked and annoyed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
