dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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