Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
