And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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