I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
These tits shall not be calmed
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
