so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I need a beard to bite.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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