now i know why i became what i already was.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
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