Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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