If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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