Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
