so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
Randomize
